There once was a man named Snuffleupagus, he was a great and famous story teller. He told stories about his life, his family’s life, his friend’s life, and random people off the street’s life. To get his information from other people, he would follow them around all day and then tell people their story later that day at the fire. But one day, Snuffleupagus didn’t feel like following any one around, he had already told everyone stories of his own life. So he decided to make up a story. But poor Snuffleupagus was afraid to tell an untrue story because the fire was a very sacred place for the people of the lost city of New Yemen. So Snuffleupagus decided to tell a made up story, and because he knew that this story would be the best story ever, he decided to charge people five pesos to enter the fire today. He displayed wonderful posters and banners ever where that were advertising he new amazing story of a magical land. So after adverting his new story about this magical land, he got a lot of knocks on his door by the people that lived in New Yemen because they all wanted to by a ticket and listen in to his story.
Later that night at the fire, Snuffleupagus almost chickened out of telling his story because he was afraid that some one would find out that he was fibbing. But, his loyal and trusting friend, Shtabobo convinced him to continue. “Think about the pesos! All of the lovely, beautiful pesos!” said Shtabobo. “Well, it would be nice to have a lot of pesos, and then we could buy all of the pixie sticks and peanut butter that we want!” replied Snuffleupagus. So he decided to go through with his story about the magical place.
Everyone sat in a circle around the fire anxiously a waiting for the exciting story to begin. Then Snuffleupagus appeared from a puff of smoke and started his story: “In the magical land of Amber Pacific, far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far there lived a magical being named Atreyu. Atreyu was a very daring person. And he and his best friend Aerodrone would always go on crazy adventures. And lucky me, I got to go with them! So sit back and listen in on my crazy adventure with Atreyu and Aerodrone.” All the people of New Yemen were silent as they listened to the story. “Well, it was on a cold rainy day in New Yemen when I received an invitation to partake on an adventure in Amber Pacific. The invitation came in the form of a card, and the card was in an envelope. When I opened the card there was a big red button that said ‘push here’ on it. I hesitated; I wasn’t sure what good or evil would come if I pressed it. So I went to the basement and got my magic 8 ball. I picked it up and said “Oh magic 8 ball, if I press this big beautiful red button, will something good happed?” then I shook the magic 8 ball. The answer said “Please ask again”. So I repeated my question. Then I shook the magic 8 ball again. This time it replied “The answer looks good”. I was still unsure if I should press the button or not, so I asked the magic 8 ball that question one more time. This time it said “The answer is yes”. So trusting in its decision, I went back upstairs, and slowly pressed the button, and nothing happened, so I pressed it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until finally, WOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!! I was sucked into the card! I was being pushed and pulled in all directions! There were colors spinning around me. And things such as flying cows and an old lady on a bike saying “I’ll get you my pretty”! I was so confused by this. Then BOOOOOM! I landed. And I saw a man standing next to me. He said “Hi Snuffleupagus, I’m Atreyu, and this is my best friend Areodrone and we welcome you to the land of Amber Pacific”. Then Aerodrone said “Do u accept out offer? And please say yes because we are going to have a super fun adventure to Pulscapades!” I looked around this unfamiliar land. And I saw all sorts of weird things. There were castles as big a sky scrapers, and a ginger bread man running and saying “you’ll never catch me”, and little orange people with green hair! I knew that the land of Amber Pacific was truly magical. And I figured that a magical land must have magical adventures. And boy was I right. Even though this isn’t really a magical adventure I went on, it was an odd one.” As Atreyu, Aerodrone, and I were on our way to Pulscapades, we passes through a very loud part of Amber Pacific called Brokencyde. Aerodrone told me that only really, really, really, really, emotional people were allowed to live in Brokencyde and that the rest of the people all lived in Sherwood, Amber Pacific. I just said oh and continued to follow them. After walking for about an hour, Atreyu and Aerodrone ran into their friend MetroStation. Now, the people of Amber Pacific just called Aerodrone, Atreyu, and MetroStation the Alkaline Trio because it was easier to say. So the Alkaline Trio and I were on our way to explore Pulscapades when all of a sudden a big bolt of lightning came flying out of they sky. But the people of Amber Pacific did not call it lightning; instead they called it Strapping Young Lad. So when Strapping Young Lad would hit the land of Amber Pacific everyone would run and hid under a rock. So as MetroStation were yelling “Strapping Young Lad! Run! Hide yourself! Quick!” I just stood there and was confused out of my mind. Then the lighting hit me! And there I was again, lying on the ground. But this time I actually knew where I was. So Aerodrone helped me up and we continued our trip to Pulscapades. “I can’t wait until we get there” said MetroStation almost the whole entire walk. After a while the rest of the Alkaline Trio got really annoyed by MetroStation. So Atreyu decided to get a cab so that we could get there faster and not have to hear MetroStation saying I can’t wait to get there every three seconds. So Atreyu whistled for a cab. Then this very beautiful car covered in purple fur came out of the sky. And on the side of the car there was a glass box that had green neon letters in it that said Blinded Black then in smaller blue letters it said A Change in Pace. I was so amazed by this fury purple car with neon letters on it that I stood there in awe for about 7.694321876599821 minutes, but that’s just an estimate, it’s not like I’m trying to be all technical about it or anything. Finally, Areodrone pulled me into the car and said “come on already, we want to get to Pulscapades before the evil Emarosa wakes up because he will made your Third Eye Blind!” So I got into the car and we went on A Sky Lit Drive on the Parkway North. After about 23.729654 minutes, there was a sign in the sky that said “Welcome to Pulscapades home of the Iron Maiden (a.k.a. Emarosa)” then in small print it read “Welcoming You, Me, and Everyone we know”. I was so excited! I could barley contain myself. I just wanted to scream “Skyfire” the top of my lungs because the cab driver, Seladora, said that most people say when they are entering new places. So after about five or six minutes, we arrived at Pulscapades. We walked slowly and quietly walked through the wooded area of Pulscapades trying not to make a sound. Then CRACK! A leprechaun fell out of a tree! I was amazed! All this time a thought that leprechauns weren’t real. “Run! It’s the evil Emarosa! Run!” said the leprechaun. Then he scurried away. Then I saw the biggest, scariest monstrous dragon-like creature ever! The Alkaline Trio all ran in fear as I just stood there in awe. Then Aerodrone pulled me by the collar of my shirt as he screamed as me to run as fast as I could. So me and the rest of the Alkaline Trio were running as fast as we could so that we could escape Emarosa. We were dogging trees and jumping over rocks. Then I ran full speed into a tree and BOOOOM! I got knocked out yet a third time. Then this time when I woke up I was expecting to still be in Amber Pacific and I thought that when u opened my eyes I would see Aerodrone or Atreyu standing there. But I didn’t. They were all gone, it was back to normal. But I will never forget meeting all of those people and going on that weird adventure. And that was my story about a magical land.”
It was quite at the end of Snuffleupagus' story. And it stayed that way for a few minutes. Then some random person in the audience started a slow clap. And then the person next to him joined in the slow clap, and the person next to him, and the person next to him, and the person next to him, and the person next to him. And the person next to him and the person next to him all joined into. Then the whole audience was clapping for one of the biggest lie that was ever told. While all of the people were clapping, there was one person who wasn’t. This person was Shtabobo who was angry that Snuffleupagus was getting all of the attention. So Shtabobo got up and stood next to Snuffleupagus and said “Liar! That while inkier story was a lie! He lied about the whole story because he was too lazy!” then he said “and you know what we do to liars here in New Yemen” and the whole audience was chanting “Push him in! Push him in”. So Shtabobo pushed Snuffleupagus with a force of ten cyclones into the fire. Then poor Snuffleupagus died because all of his skin got burned off of his body. And because Shtabobo was the one to reveal that his best friend Snuffleupagus was lying, Shtabobo got to keep all the pesos, and but all of the peanut butter and pixie sticks that he wanted!
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