Life Lessons In a Make-believe Land

There once was a man named Snuffleupagus, he was a great and famous story teller. He told stories about his life, his family’s life, his friend’s life, and random people off the street’s life. To get his information from other people, he would follow them around all day and then tell people their story later that day at the fire. But one day, Snuffleupagus didn’t feel like following any one around, he had already told everyone stories of his own life. So he decided to make up a story. But poor Snuffleupagus was afraid to tell an untrue story because the fire was a very sacred place for the people of the lost city of New Yemen. So Snuffleupagus decided to tell a made up story, and because he knew that this story would be the best story ever, he decided to charge people five pesos to enter the fire today. He displayed wonderful posters and banners ever where that were advertising he new amazing story of a magical land. So after adverting his new story about this magical land, he got a lot of knocks on his door by the people that lived in New Yemen because they all wanted to by a ticket and listen in to his story.

Later that night at the fire, Snuffleupagus almost chickened out of telling his story because he was afraid that some one would find out that he was fibbing. But, his loyal and trusting friend, Shtabobo convinced him to continue. “Think about the pesos! All of the lovely, beautiful pesos!” said Shtabobo. “Well, it would be nice to have a lot of pesos, and then we could buy all of the pixie sticks and peanut butter that we want!” replied Snuffleupagus. So he decided to go through with his story about the magical place.

Everyone sat in a circle around the fire anxiously a waiting for the exciting story to begin. Then Snuffleupagus appeared from a puff of smoke and started his story: “In the magical land of Amber Pacific, far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far far there lived a magical being named Atreyu. Atreyu was a very daring person. And he and his best friend Aerodrone would always go on crazy adventures. And lucky me, I got to go with them! So sit back and listen in on my crazy adventure with Atreyu and Aerodrone.” All the people of New Yemen were silent as they listened to the story. “Well, it was on a cold rainy day in New Yemen when I received an invitation to partake on an adventure in Amber Pacific. The invitation came in the form of a card, and the card was in an envelope. When I opened the card there was a big red button that said ‘push here’ on it. I hesitated; I wasn’t sure what good or evil would come if I pressed it. So I went to the basement and got my magic 8 ball. I picked it up and said “Oh magic 8 ball, if I press this big beautiful red button, will something good happed?” then I shook the magic 8 ball. The answer said “Please ask again”. So I repeated my question. Then I shook the magic 8 ball again. This time it replied “The answer looks good”. I was still unsure if I should press the button or not, so I asked the magic 8 ball that question one more time. This time it said “The answer is yes”. So trusting in its decision, I went back upstairs, and slowly pressed the button, and nothing happened, so I pressed it again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, until finally, WOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!! I was sucked into the card! I was being pushed and pulled in all directions! There were colors spinning around me. And things such as flying cows and an old lady on a bike saying “I’ll get you my pretty”! I was so confused by this. Then BOOOOOM! I landed. And I saw a man standing next to me. He said “Hi Snuffleupagus, I’m Atreyu, and this is my best friend Areodrone and we welcome you to the land of Amber Pacific”. Then Aerodrone said “Do u accept out offer? And please say yes because we are going to have a super fun adventure to Pulscapades!” I looked around this unfamiliar land. And I saw all sorts of weird things. There were castles as big a sky scrapers, and a ginger bread man running and saying “you’ll never catch me”, and little orange people with green hair! I knew that the land of Amber Pacific was truly magical. And I figured that a magical land must have magical adventures. And boy was I right. Even though this isn’t really a magical adventure I went on, it was an odd one.” As Atreyu, Aerodrone, and I were on our way to Pulscapades, we passes through a very loud part of Amber Pacific called Brokencyde. Aerodrone told me that only really, really, really, really, emotional people were allowed to live in Brokencyde and that the rest of the people all lived in Sherwood, Amber Pacific. I just said oh and continued to follow them. After walking for about an hour, Atreyu and Aerodrone ran into their friend MetroStation. Now, the people of Amber Pacific just called Aerodrone, Atreyu, and MetroStation the Alkaline Trio because it was easier to say. So the Alkaline Trio and I were on our way to explore Pulscapades when all of a sudden a big bolt of lightning came flying out of they sky. But the people of Amber Pacific did not call it lightning; instead they called it Strapping Young Lad. So when Strapping Young Lad would hit the land of Amber Pacific everyone would run and hid under a rock. So as MetroStation were yelling “Strapping Young Lad! Run! Hide yourself! Quick!” I just stood there and was confused out of my mind. Then the lighting hit me! And there I was again, lying on the ground. But this time I actually knew where I was. So Aerodrone helped me up and we continued our trip to Pulscapades. “I can’t wait until we get there” said MetroStation almost the whole entire walk. After a while the rest of the Alkaline Trio got really annoyed by MetroStation. So Atreyu decided to get a cab so that we could get there faster and not have to hear MetroStation saying I can’t wait to get there every three seconds. So Atreyu whistled for a cab. Then this very beautiful car covered in purple fur came out of the sky. And on the side of the car there was a glass box that had green neon letters in it that said Blinded Black then in smaller blue letters it said A Change in Pace. I was so amazed by this fury purple car with neon letters on it that I stood there in awe for about 7.694321876599821 minutes, but that’s just an estimate, it’s not like I’m trying to be all technical about it or anything. Finally, Areodrone pulled me into the car and said “come on already, we want to get to Pulscapades before the evil Emarosa wakes up because he will made your Third Eye Blind!” So I got into the car and we went on A Sky Lit Drive on the Parkway North. After about 23.729654 minutes, there was a sign in the sky that said “Welcome to Pulscapades home of the Iron Maiden (a.k.a. Emarosa)” then in small print it read “Welcoming You, Me, and Everyone we know”. I was so excited! I could barley contain myself. I just wanted to scream “Skyfire” the top of my lungs because the cab driver, Seladora, said that most people say when they are entering new places. So after about five or six minutes, we arrived at Pulscapades. We walked slowly and quietly walked through the wooded area of Pulscapades trying not to make a sound. Then CRACK! A leprechaun fell out of a tree! I was amazed! All this time a thought that leprechauns weren’t real. “Run! It’s the evil Emarosa! Run!” said the leprechaun. Then he scurried away. Then I saw the biggest, scariest monstrous dragon-like creature ever! The Alkaline Trio all ran in fear as I just stood there in awe. Then Aerodrone pulled me by the collar of my shirt as he screamed as me to run as fast as I could. So me and the rest of the Alkaline Trio were running as fast as we could so that we could escape Emarosa. We were dogging trees and jumping over rocks. Then I ran full speed into a tree and BOOOOM! I got knocked out yet a third time. Then this time when I woke up I was expecting to still be in Amber Pacific and I thought that when u opened my eyes I would see Aerodrone or Atreyu standing there. But I didn’t. They were all gone, it was back to normal. But I will never forget meeting all of those people and going on that weird adventure. And that was my story about a magical land.”

It was quite at the end of Snuffleupagus' story. And it stayed that way for a few minutes. Then some random person in the audience started a slow clap. And then the person next to him joined in the slow clap, and the person next to him, and the person next to him, and the person next to him, and the person next to him. And the person next to him and the person next to him all joined into. Then the whole audience was clapping for one of the biggest lie that was ever told. While all of the people were clapping, there was one person who wasn’t. This person was Shtabobo who was angry that Snuffleupagus was getting all of the attention. So Shtabobo got up and stood next to Snuffleupagus and said “Liar! That while inkier story was a lie! He lied about the whole story because he was too lazy!” then he said “and you know what we do to liars here in New Yemen” and the whole audience was chanting “Push him in! Push him in”. So Shtabobo pushed Snuffleupagus with a force of ten cyclones into the fire. Then poor Snuffleupagus died because all of his skin got burned off of his body. And because Shtabobo was the one to reveal that his best friend Snuffleupagus was lying, Shtabobo got to keep all the pesos, and but all of the peanut butter and pixie sticks that he wanted!

An Essay On Bias From High School.

Oh no! Look over there! It’s a rock band, they must be singing of suicide and murder! And the heavy metal band must be preaching about the devil! Well, even thought many rock and metal bands such as Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, Twisted Sister, Venom, Judas Priest, Decide, Entombed, Alice Cooper, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, and Anthrax are said to ‘worship’ the devil and have Satanic lyrics, only two of the bands listed above (Decide and Entombed) “claimed to express or promote “real” Satanism through their lyrics and real life” (Paradise) as where the other bands just used satanic lyrics to gain much needed publicity and money.

Unfortunately, some bands and artist were being blamed for causing teens to murder others and to commit suicide. The band Judas Priest was blamed for making and eighteen years old and a twenty year old to commit suicide. The court said that there was a “toxic influence” from the music they listened to, but that it cannot be blamed for ones actions. The bands Slipknot, Anthrax, Ozzy Osbourne (from Black Sabbath), Alice Cooper, and Marilyn Manson where being blamed for making two men murder a 16 year old boy. It’s said that one of the alleged murderers, Daniel, 28, listened to these bands. A witness also claimed that he was a heavy drinker, had his room decorated with skeletons, and had an upside down cross tattooed on one of his arms, which is said to represent the Antichrist and Satanism.

So, I bet now that you are thinking that all rock and metal musicians are bad people. Well, there are good people too! For example, Alice Cooper, a rocker that was known for singing songs called “Dead Babies”, “No More Mr. Nice Guy”, “Welcome to my Nightmare”, and for onstage beheadings, is opening a Christian youth center. In this center there is going to be a school of rock and roll, a concert hall, and sporting events. Everything that takes place at this youth center will be free for teens for the ages of 12- 18 and will all be Christian oriented. The band Motley Crue made a CD called “Shout to the Devil”. The lyrics to the songs on this CD showed rebelliousness toward Satan, giving off the idea that Satan is bad.

Marilyn Manson, yes, we all know that he was being blamed for the shooting at Columbine high school in April 1999 and the shooting at VT College in April 2007. “But why?” you may ask. Some thinks it’s because he’s an easy target because of his said ‘Satanic’ lyrics. When in matter of fact, Seung-Hui Cho (the instigator of the shooting at VT), Erick Harris, and Dylan Klebold (the instigators of the shooting at Columbine) didn’t actually listen to Marilyn Manson. Though there is no proof that Cho didn’t listen to Marilyn Manson, there is none saying that he did either. As for Klebold and Harris they “hate Marilyn Manson” (Cullen) and Harris liked “Good, Fast, Hard, Strong, Pounding Techno” (Cullen). So, even though many people may think that Marilyn Manson is bad and capable of being a big enough of an influence to make people murderers, many can see what an insane realization that truly is.

Upon the school shootings, Manson was interviewed a countless amount of times. In a radio interview that took place a few days after the VT massacre, Manson said, “Then suddenly Columbine happened and my name got brought up into it and I wouldn’t be surprised if my name got brought into this[VT collage shooting]” (Manson Fears), and it was. During another interview he had with Michael Moore, the creator of many documentaries such as Bowling for Columbine and Roger & me, Manson was asked what he would have said to the Killers of Columbine High School, Harris and Klebold, if he would have gotten a chance. Manson’s answer was one of the most inspiring things that I have ever heard from any one; he said “I wouldn’t have said one thing. I would have listened to them, which is what no one else did” (Bowling for Columbine, 2002). He also said that music is an escape for kids, but unfortunately, the PMRC didn’t see that.

The PMRC, or Parents Music Resource Center, was stated by Tipper Gore (Al Gore’s wife) and three other women. Their goal was to warn parents of the music that their kids were listening to, so they decided that it would be a good idea to use their own opinion to tell people what’s good and what’s bad. And of course, the musicians didn’t appreciate this at all. So they rebelled, many bands criticized and parodied Tipper Gore and the PMRC. Since this affected a large majority of bands and artists from all genres; it up raised a big commotion. As an early parody Metallica put a PMRC “explicit lyric” sticker in the shape of a stop sign on their front cover of their album Master of Puppets the. The band Alice Donut made a song called “Tipper Gore” that used a sexual metaphor to describe Tipper Gore’s actions. Sonic Youth’s album, Goo, featured “a cartoon with a caption “SMASH THE PMRC”” (Parent Music Resource Center). Ministry’s album In Case You Didn’t Feel like Showing Up had “a cut out version of the parental advisory sticker. On the inside they urged you to cut it out and send it to the PMRC” (Parent Music Recourse Center). On the cover of the Twisted Sister Cd, Come out and Play, the band put a parental advisory sticker that said H for Humor as a parody toward the PMRC explicit lyric stickers. In a one minute song “Ode to Tipper Gore”, the band Warrant, “featured nothing but various swear words recorder in rapid-fire order” (Parent Music Resource Center) that they said during concerts and in songs. NoFX named their album The PMRC can suck on this to show how they felt about them. The band Rage Against The Machine did one of the most astonishing tings out of all of the bands and artists that rebelled against the PMRC. During Lollapalooza they spent all of their playing time (14 minutes) standing naked on stage, they had duck tape over their mouths and the letters PMRC painted on their chests. Later, the band played a free show for all of their disappointed fans. Tipper even went as far as trying to turn people against a band by making false accusations about the meaning of their name. She told the public that the band WASP, who originally wore black and yellow striped outfits while playing, stood for “We Are Sexual Perverts” (Parent Music Resource Center). Some other bands (with their song) that ‘rebelled’ against Tipper and the PMRC were: “Rock you to Hell” by Grim Reaper, “Hook in the Mouth” by Megadeth, “The Wild and the Young” by Quiet Riot, “Lovely” by Suicidal Tendencies, “Shelter Me” by Cinderella, “Hard on You” by Floatsam and Jetsam, “Hush” by Tool, “Censors**t” by The Ramones, “Starting up a Posse” by Anthrax, “F*** the PMRC” by Pistol Grip, “Stop the Insanity” by Leftover Crack, “Anarchy in the U.K” by Motley Crue, “MTV- Get off the Air” by Dead Kennedy, “Voldemont Can’t Stop Rock” by Harry and the Potters, “FINE” by Aerosmith, “KKK B****” and “Cop Killer” by The Dead Milkman, “P.M.R.C” by The Fool, “Porn Wars” by Frank Zappa, “Pray for the Juice Maker” by Fishbone, “Sucks” by KMFDM, “IFWHITEAMERICATOLDTHETRUTHFORONEDAYIT’SWORLDWOULDFALLAPART” and “Tennessee” by Manic Street Performers, “Burn down the malls” by Mojo Nixon, “Censor us” by Pinkard and Bowden, “Go Away” by Reset, “Jesse” by Todd Rundgren, “P.M.R.C” by The Bouncing Souls, and the song “Purgatory” which the German Metal band, Running Wild, dedicated to the PMRC.

So people think that rock and metal music is bad, and that people that listen to it are going to go crazy and start killing themselves and shooting people and getting all hyped up on drugs. Well, I, along with a lot of people in our school and even on my team, could be examples of how wrong this stereotype is. I mean sure, I do threaten people, but I never went out a started shooting things and blowing up random objects, even though blowing up random objects does sound fun.

One typical stereotype that I think is true is among a large majority of people that listen to rock and metal is how their appearance is. For example guys that listen to heave metal and rock re more likely to have long hair, wear a lot of black, and wear eyeliner and girls that listen to this type of music are more likely to have black hair and wear a lot of black. But this is just because of the fact that people have a tendency to dress and mimic the appearance of the people they ‘look up to’. So people that listen to rap are more likely to have a lot of ‘bling’ and grills and wear over sized pants and shirts, and people that look up to, let’s say the President are most likely going to dress rather professionally. But once again, not all people do.

So if you are going to go ahead and say that everyone that listens to Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Anthrax, Iron Maiden, Alice Cooper, Twisted Sister, Judas Priest and other Rock and Metal bands go out and constantly shoot people and then constantly want to kill themselves you are obviously wrong. But if you truly believe that, I suggest you find every one that listens to this type of music and start sending them to consolers, mental facilities, and Psyche Wards.